I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
