This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
