my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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