have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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