Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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