apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
