I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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