I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
