I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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