I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
