Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
