out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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