making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
