So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
