pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
