Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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