I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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