it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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