But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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