Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
