Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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