Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
