Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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