i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
