Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
