it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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