Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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