Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
