You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
