What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
