Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
