so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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