The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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