Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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