I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
