Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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