I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
