I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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