My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
