Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
