Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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