What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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