we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
