My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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