return my video game
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
