there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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