the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
