sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
