Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
