I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
